Sewanhaka Teacher Uses Psychological Warfare

On what seemed to be the usual Tuesday morning before break, 11th-grade English teacher Ms. Fitzsimmons surprisingly found herself being escorted out of Sewanhaka High School in handcuffs by police from Nassau County due to her use of psychological warfare and torture of her students. Her most egregious method of torture was playing the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black at maximum volume every Friday without fail. This tormented both the ears and brains of students, who were quoted saying the situation was “unbearable” and “draining.” It was inevitable for authorities to intervene, especially with reports of emotional distress, which followed immediately after the weekly auditory assaults by Ms. Fitzsimmons. Though music itself is neutral, its force and relentless use became something else entirely under her dictatorial control.

Ms. Fitzsimmons has spent the last few years pretending to be a cat lady and Bad Bunny super fan to help her slip unnoticed into the school’s culture. To further push her agenda, she also built up a reputation for herself as a teacher who likes to work her students “beyond their limits” as a form of motivation, as most teachers usually do. However, it seems like her recent methods may have gone a step too far, and her cover has been blown. Law enforcement now believes her Sewanhaka persona was actually hiding something far more deliberate.

The main evidence against her consists of the “Cringe Friday Letters.” Every time Ms. Fitzsimmons’ AP Language classes met on Fridays, the students were expected to write a formal letter persuading her on why the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black should not be played. Masking this mental attack as an “assignment”, the “homework” wouldn’t be posted until class, which is usually 8th or 9th period, and it would be due that same night. This adds to the psychological torture on students, and has raised numerous concerns about student mental health. Moreover, the letter was expected to contain rhetorical devices such as ethos, pathos, and logos, which are difficult concepts for many students to grasp. What appeared to be usual English instruction was in fact a malicious system planned by a criminal mastermind to alter student psyche rather than improve writing ability.

The true problem, investigators explain, is that there is no tangible outcome for the “assignment”. A student explained how they spent hours working on their letter, to the point where they even went so far as to write the letter by hand to emphasize their hard work and passion. Despite this, it was dismissed by Ms. Fitzsimmons as she briefly acknowledged the letter before immediately moving on to play the music. Joseph Vandezande explained that “She’ll say it’s ‘well-written,’ and then the music starts. At that point, you’re not even writing to convince her anymore.”

This repeated cycle of effort followed by guaranteed failure when students think they have a chance is what authorities claim is the true psychological torture. “You think you can win at first. But then you realize the decision’s already made.” When asked about the situation, Jose Alarco stated, “It’s Friday, Friday… Gotta get down on Friday…” before refusing to give any further information or clarification.

The situation has worsened as Ms. Fitzsimmons has now started adding different twists, such as changing the song to ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ and playing the song several times, instead of just once on maximum volume. She has also been known to switch to soap ASMR randomly, or to videos showing turtles eating fruit, sometimes more than once, or even on days other than Friday. However, the real motive behind this is to lull students into a false sense of security, and portray her playing of videos in class as a positive good when, in reality, is really psychological torture.

The school administration recognizes this situation as an active case thanks to the repeated complaints over TV volume as well as a concern for the wellbeing of her students. Witnesses who passed by in the school hallway stated they heard the song in different rooms and even different floors in the school building. While continuing to investigate this case, law enforcement recognizes that, while this case may perpetually be ongoing, one factor may be proven beyond all doubt – it was never about the music.